Discovering Change: Finding Freedom and Self-Acceptance

Something has changed within me. 

A yearning for the first time for more. 

Is it greed? is it ambition? 

For a life I know is out there. 

I dream of the days when my days will be enough. 

When I'd laugh without any hindrances and perhaps even love. 

Yet, a resistance in my soul holds me hostage from these things within my grasp. 

I wrestle every day for my happiness. 

If you pass by me you might feel a warmth you never felt before. 

I had resigned myself to my fate, that I could only do so much as she let me. 

Perhaps I now believe the words, I have heard all my life. 

It has occurred to me, how much I have denied myself. 

Is it the devil whispering "master be kind to yourself?" 

Should I take his hand and perch on his wings? 

Or is it just my time? A time that I glued its hands together waiting for another's time to strike.

The gates I once thought were shut have been opened wide ajar. 

I am grasping the suspenders of my jumpsuit and leaping forward.

Perhaps, it has taken life for me to realise that I can actually consider myself without guilt, 

with confidence that you will be okay even if I am not with you. 

That I will be okay even if you're not with me. 

I do not need to wipe your tears and you do not need to unburden my load. 

Could it actually be true? 

Am I actually free?!