Why are men so entitled? My first dangerous encounter with an entitled man.

Why do men always feel so entitled?

Entitled to your time, your number, your personal space or belongings, worst of all even entitlement to you!

I wonder about the results when the tides were shifted a little. Will men feel comfortable if I just randomly call them "babe"? Especially if I wasn't what they'll consider attractive aka their "spec". Will they be okay if I give them a lift, and then hold them hostage just to get their number?

Don't get me wrong, there's the chase of course when you find someone attractive. Women still like the chase but it has to be clear. She should have given you some inkling that she may consider you worthy of her time. No one likes a lacklustre lukewarm person who acts like they're interested in you but does the barest minimum.

 Anyway here's a little Storytime 

In my heydays in the university, I was a little bit popular in my first and second years. My first year, perhaps because I didn't care about anyone but myself. It is just class, hostel and my Christian meetings. I would purposely block my ears, with my earphones and walk with my head in the sky. I guess a little bit of mystery piqued the interest of the boys. In my second year, I gained more attention due to my sudden interest in makeup. Still I never really entertained boys, I did go on a few miserable dates but none as daring as what you are about to read, at least not physically. 

We'll call him 'VI'.  Vi was a  colleague a year higher than me, relatively unknown but quite persistent in his pursuit of me. I like to follow the golden rule, so I told him from the beginning that I had no interest in him. He found it difficult that anybody wouldn't be interested in him, (Cocky much!). It wasn't even about him as I just wasn't interested in relationships, which he even found harder to understand.

After a few outings, he finally got the message that I wasn't' interested. Fast-forward to a year later, during my 6 months internship in Abuja and he just so happened to be serving there (NYSC). We reconnect and he asked numerous times to see me. The first entitled flag was when he invited me to his house to stay for the weekend. This was quite odd, there was no itinerary and I would never sleep over at a guy's house much less alone. I took it as a joke and overlooked it.

Let's get this over with

On one boring Friday afternoon, I had nowhere to go after leaving work early. I hit him up so I could finally fit him into my schedule and get it over with. He decided on a movie. I wasn't quite familiar with the area, but my father worked around there. He picked me up and dropped me off, with the promise to come to pick me up when I was done (I know right, Daddy's girl). Vi came late and we ended up watching a movie I couldn't care for. I've never been a fan of action movies but I end up watching them during dates.

Nigerian cinema is always cold! I don't know if this is done on purpose? for people to be so uncomfortably cold that they have to hold something or someone. Regardless it is worth investigating. As the movie proceeded I noticed Vi inching closer and closer to me. He kept asking if I was cold which I was because at some point I sat on my hands. Things went south from there...

He raised the Armrest and put his arm around me. I responded with " uh Excuse me", to which he replied, " I can see you're shaking let me warm you up a little". "No thank you, let me go warm up a little outside, I'll be back", I replied. I ran outside immediately and texted my dad, he said he'll take some time but he'll be on his way. 

As I got back to my seat, it seems vi spent some time thinking of his next step. He started rubbing my arms and neck, even trying to kiss me. Now we weren't watching a romantic movie, so I was wondering where these emotions were coming from. I guess he had the courage because the cinema was sparsely populated. I jerked as quickly as I could and told him to stop! He laughed and said, "why are you acting like a small girl, you know I've always liked you". I noticed something different in the way he looked at me. He had never looked at me that way even while we were in school. Perhaps coming to Abuja, had changed something in him, perhaps he had always been this way. I needed to think of the next move...

My Escape

Thankfully, the movie finished and I started walking out, I may not run but I'm a fast walker. He struggled to keep up with my pace, asking if I wanted anything else. I could see that he planned to keep me as late as possible and probably bring up the idea of going to his house. I told him I was fine and just wanted to go home. We got outside and I acted like I was waiting for a cab. He asked me where I lived and I told him the general area. He said there were no cabs I could get from there, I should come with him and he'll drop me off. 

In perfect timing, my dad buzzed me and I saw his car pull up. I told him my dad was here. Heaven only knows what went through his mind as I saw the look of disappointment on his face. I told him: "I'll be leaving now, would you like to say hello to my dad?". Of course, he wasn't and took off. 

In the comfort of my father's car and sighed and thanked God for what I had just escaped. Vi sent me messages that night. Vi complained that I left him all alone after he paid almost N10,000 for us to watch a movie, he was even willing to pay more just for us to "hang out" together. I did not dignify him by responding to his messages, I blocked him immediately.

Vi felt he was entitled to my body and time for N10,000 or even more. I have seen this happen several times but this was my first personal encounter. I don't understand it. If you wanted a quickie with someone, I am sure some places can offer you such services for even less. What is the fun in trying to entice an unsuspecting person? If you understand it, please explain!!!!.