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Embracing the Paradox of Emotions: Navigating Fear and Admiration

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Feelings, a delicate dance of fear and admiration. Why do they stir such dread within me? When directed towards others, a rush of excitement and joy envelops me. Yet when turned inwards, or aimed at my very being, a wave of panic crashes over me. These emotions, so precious, seem too weighty for my fragile grasp, akin to offering a child to a towering dinosaur. What end awaits them? A grand display like Mighty Joe Young? A wild embrace akin to Tarzan? Or a swift consumption, like a lion upon its prey? Will they be devoured like paper to flame? I grapple with the notion of why one would entrust me with such priceless sentiments. Should I nurture them? Protect them? Admire from afar, then bid farewell when the moment fades? In the ballads of love that shaped my youth, I glimpsed the profound essence of affection, moving me to tears. To think such depth of emotion could be bestowed upon another human, not bound by blood. I marvelled at this capacity, witnessing the eternal cycle of love r
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From Childhood Innocence to Class Realities: My Journey to Understanding Privilege

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Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise -  Thomas Gray I grew up as a very aware and observant child. The cloud of innocence and naivety of childhood dispersed very quickly, from being aware of what death meant from age 6 to realising that money doesn't last forever. I believe my upbringing has shaped who I am today. Despite being sheltered by my parents, growing up on the streets of Lagos exposed me to different realities. I saw homeless people on the streets, some of whom were naked, but not necessarily deranged. On the other hand, some wealthy individuals talked about their travels around the world with their families during the summer. It was challenging to fit in, on one end I enjoyed trips when my mom would take my siblings and me to (what I thought were) really nice restaurants where we would eat Jollof rice, Chicken and Salad. While my neighbours never got that opportunity and their parents were spending late nights burning candles at mami night markets to fini
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From Expecting a Sibling to Embracing Dolls: A Journey of Loneliness, Longing, and Unconventional Friendship

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No, I don't hate children! I just give them a respectable distance! Fascination with Babies: Yearning for a Sibling I should begin with my fascination with babies. Though not the last kid in the house, I was the last child birthed by my mother, my cousin who lived with us was born barely two years after me. So I never really had exposure to babies, my earliest memory is at five years. All my aunts and uncles were really old, already in their late 30s-40s by the time I was born, so there was no expecting any new baby in the foreseeable future. For a time, I thought my mum would be that glimmer of hope, bringing forth a new baby that I could call my own. Yes, I said it " my own". But that hope was quickly dashed when my mum realised that she had fibroids and in hindsight, my dad wasn't particularly interested in another child anyway. Why was young Tobare obsessed with having a younger sibling anyway? The Outcast: Searching for Acceptance in Childhood Now, for some self-
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Find Calm and Reduce Anxiety: Strategies for Overwhelmed Individuals

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Calm, is it possible?  There are days when you wake up and honestly, it feels like the world is falling apart due to no fault of yours. There's the stench of Doom in the Air, and there's nothing you can do about it. Whining has led you nowhere and honestly complaining is draining. Futile arguments are depressing and Listening to others whining and analyzing how it will all end is just horrid. So what's your pick me up? When I find myself getting a little bit too overwhelmed by the state of things, I need an Immediate distraction. Here are my favorite pick-me-ups. 1. Mini Dance Party:  The 2010s according to me had the best party hits, Popping to Gaga or stepping with Beyonce, of course trying to dance the entire choreography is a full workout (Honestly, any song by Beyonce is a full workout either vocally or physically). The electronic drops are one hell of a distraction. If I really want to infuse some happiness into my steps, the 80s Hits are on replay. It's absolute
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Location: Nigeria
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Music: It's in my DNA

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It's Soul  Do you ever listen to music and it just transports you to another place? Suddenly, it's like you are trapped in a whirlwind of emotions. 
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Location: Nigeria
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The Meet-Cute: A Road Trip

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This week I had a blast from the past! An old acquaintance reached out to me and I couldn't be more shocked. Suddenly, I had a flash of the old fresh college Tobare, who had just finished her first year with a 4.33 GPA feeling on top of the world. Here is how I met one of my many Doctor friends and had the best road trip to date. Grown Girl School had vacated, it was the end of my first year in the university and boy was it an unexpected ride. From crushes to roommates, my 100 level was full of drama! More drama than I had ever had in my entire life and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I loved it. I had moved my things to my uncle's house in Sapele and I was ready to leave for Abuja for the holiday. I started really getting good at doing my own makeup thanks to my bunkmate and youtube videos. Just Getting the perfect brows was a huge deal in 2016, but here I was with my very own complete set to play with. I was heading back home and I needed them to see that I was grow
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The Haunting Woman: An Uncanny Earworm

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I might sound like an aging boomer, but really google is awesome. You’re probably wondering, “uhh, did you just discover that?” I mean I’ve always known it was awesome, I’d use it to settle arguments and solve earworms, and random what, where, or how questions. but I never really valued it until The Who came in?
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Location: Nigeria
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